Santa: I realised today that the world is a dangerous place. Banta: What brought about the change in thinking? Santa: I tripped over my son's globe!
Banta: When is the cheapest time to call your friends long distance? Santa: When they're not at home.
Santa pulls up at a red light beside a gorgeous young woman, smiles at her and lowers his window. The woman smiles back and also lowers her window. "Ah", says Santa, "So you farted, too?"
Santa to Banta, "Every night my wife puts a mudpack on her face and slices of cucumber over her eyes". Banta: Does it work? Santa: No, it doesn't work. I can still tell, it's her!
Banta: What's marriage? Santa: Marriage is the 7th sense of human that destroys all the 6 senses and makes the person nonsense!
Santa went into a bar and called for a glass of whisky and water. Having tasted it, he exclaimed, "Which did you put in first, the whisky or the water?" "The whisky, of course," the waiter replied. "Ah, well," said Santa, "Perhaps I'll come to it by and by"!